Title: Illusion of Happiness
By: leetah47
Rating: MA
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. Star Trek Voyager and its characters are the property of Paramount
Summary: a short addition to the episode Persistence of Vision. What did Chakotay see? Also doubles as the must-write turbolift story.
Thanks: To my beta!!


”I will accept your immediate surrender.” The alien threatened. Chakotay stared at the view screen at the shadowy figure, who expected him to surrender the ship just like that. Just then the turbolift opened and Captain Janeway strode in confidently. ”You’re not getting one; the Captain is fine!” she said.

”I don’t think so; I think the battle is over now.” The alien answered.

Chakotay was looking at Kathryn and heard her murmur the name Mark. He then turned to the screen; but he did not see Mark…he saw Kathryn. He stared at the image then back to the real Kathryn and back again.. Kathryn, on the screen, was taking her hair down slowly allowing the pins to fall carelessly to the floor. He was transfixed. He’d wanted to see her like that for a long time. Her hair was now down and cascading around her shoulders. She was tousling her fingers through the long tresses and smiling seductively at him. He barely registered what was going on around him before a sharp request from beside him woke him momentarily. He moved toward the turbolift to go to Engineering as the Captain ordered.

The doors closed, but he was never able to voice a destination. She was there, in the lift with him, her hair still hanging beautifully over her shoulders. “Chakotay.” She whispered seductively.

He closed his eyes fiercely. ”It’s not real; you’re not real!” He hissed through clenched teeth.

“Oh yes, I’m real. I’m warm, alive and want to be in your arms. You want me; don’t you? You lay in your bed at night, dreaming of making love to me, Chakotay. You love me.”

”No. No.” He tried protesting; but her hands touched his chest, moving toward his face. He knew in his heart and soul that she was right. He was in love with his Captain and had been for a long time.

Her fingers traced his tattoo, and then ran up and through his hair. He clenched his teeth tighter. ”No, you’re not real!” He persisted. He then felt her lips on his and he groaned. His control was quickly slipping. As her tongue slipped out and brushed his lips, he no longer cared if she was real or not. He put his arms around her and crushed her frame against his, eliciting a moan from her. Her hands were never still, roaming down his back to grasp his butt. In the back of his head he knew it wasn’t real; but he was beyond caring.

He took control of the situation and pushed her against the wall of the turbolift. She gasped in pleasure at his sudden action. His lips claimed hers in a searing kiss. He released her lips and looked at her face while his hands slipped into her loose hair and stroked down her face. “So beautiful,” he whispered.

She raised her hand and traced the blue lines at his temple as he imagined the real Kathryn would do. Her slim fingers started to open his uniform, sliding it off his broad shoulders. He took her cue and opened the fastenings on her uniform, as well. He cursed Starfleet designers for making uniforms so hard to get off, but finally he pulled her turtleneck off and reached her naked skin. He zeroed in on her neck and let his lips slip over her heated skin. Her small hands had found their way inside his uniform and her nails scratched lightly over his nipples. His lips found her mouth again as he pushed the fabric all the way down to her hips.

He felt her toeing off her boots and he did the same. She quickly divested herself of the remainder of her uniform and proceeded to remove his as well. She was on her knees in front of him caressing his thighs and he took in the sight of her. He felt himself harden at the sight. When she took hold of his erection, he leaned his head back and closed his eyes in delight. She stroked him slowly before rising to meet his eyes. “Make love to me Chakotay, I want you so.” Her voice purred and his control snapped. He lifted her off the floor and pressed her against the wall of the turbolift.

He felt her legs wrap around him. The feeling was exquisite. How could it not be real? His final grasp on reality disappeared as she slowly sank onto him, sheathing him inside her moist heat.

He buried his face in her neck, surrounding himself with the scent of her hair and the sounds of her pleasure as he thrust into her. He couldn’t remember ever wanting a woman more than he wanted Kathryn. She was so tight and warm, he could barely breathe. She was pushing against him harder and faster until he finally shuddered, moaning, and gasping her name against her throat as he came.

She cried out with her release; her voice echoing around the turbolift.

“Gods Kathryn, I love you. I love you so much.” The admission slipped from his lips. He could not deny his feelings any longer. She didn’t say anything, but her warmth still surrounded him and her fingers were running gently through his hair. Then the feeling began to fade; and, as he looked up, she disappeared. He was again standing in the turbolift, fully clothed. He looked in the direction of the voice next to him.

“No!” Kathryn gasped. Her hand flew to her mouth, choking back a sob “Mark.” Her eyes were shut tight, trying to hold back tears, but not quite succeeding. Chakotay was just as shaken. This had been his dream come true. He had been making love to Kathryn as he had wanted to do since the first two weeks on the ship. Now the fantasy was gone and Kathryn was next to him, longing for another man.

He reached out and touched her arm. “Captain, are you all right?” She started, having not noticed him next to her. He was sad to see the pain and longing in her eyes.

She stared at him for a moment, all her emotions visible on her face; then her Captain’s mask slipped into place as she wiped her tears. “Yes, Commander, perfectly all right. Whatever the alien was doing to us, he’s obviously stopped. I’m going to Engineering to see what Kes found out; you go to the bridge and see how the crew is doing.

“Aye, Captain.” He watched her walk out of the turbolift, no evidence of the pain he’d just seen in her eyes. He felt like crying. He felt an intense loss and his heart ached with it. He took a moment to collect himself, and then proceeded to the Bridge; the crisis was not over yet.

The End