Title: Dreams Realized
By: leetah47
Rating: MA - pears
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. Princess Diaries 1 & 2 and its characters are the property of Disney, Buena Vista, and Meg Cabot.
Summary: This story starts the day after the Wango (and a brief interlude) and continues to right after the Independence Day Ball.
Thanks: To Diana for being the best beta and for bugging me 'till I finished and to Christina for letting me bounce ideas off of you :-)
And to Susan for suggesting the last pear part :-)

Dreams Realized

Clarisse was lying in her bed the day after she and Joseph had taught Mia to dance; the day after Joseph had boldly led her to the dance floor and had kissed her. Clarisse felt warm all over and fragments of the dream that had awoken her filled her mind.

She had been in bed with Joseph; he had been kissing her again and his hands had been touching her, arousing a response in her body that no one had before. The sensation of his hands in her hair and his lips on her neck were very strong. She could feel the weight of his body as he moved to make love to her. His face was very close to her; a smile on his lips as well as in his eyes. She had opened her legs for him and just as she was to experience his body joining with hers…

She woke up, disoriented and very, very hot. ‘Queens do not dream.’ Clarisse kept telling herself. 𠆊t least not those kinds of dreams!’ What had gotten into her?

The day before she hadn’t been able to focus much on her daily duties; the memory of his kiss kept invading her mind. She had spent most of the night thinking about this new development between them, letting all the questions and feelings run through her mind. Even though there were many things to consider, many reasons why it could not be; one clear thought kept coming back to her, she really was in love with him. She loved Joseph. She had finally gone to bed, mentally exhausted; but her mind wouldn’t leave her alone and she had dreamt of him.

The dawn found her lying in her bed staring up at the ceiling, an unfulfilled ache in her abdomen. It was still early, but she decided to get up. She needed to focus her thoughts and energy into her work and Amelia. She got out of bed and went to the bathroom to take a shower.

She stepped under the hot spray of water, hoping it would remove the haze that seemed to lie in her mind. Unfortunately, the warmth of the water only seemed to heighten her body’s response to her dream. As she washed her short hair, she had a vision of Joseph standing behind her, his hands washing her tresses. The picture was so intense in her mind that she felt her nipples harden and the muscles tighten in her abdomen in response. She felt a tension in her body that, although not unfamiliar; had never been released. Never before, though, had it felt this intense.

She was uncertain what she should do about it. She knew she could release such tension herself, but had never attempted to touch herself in that manner. It didn’t seem the proper thing for a queen to do. But somehow, here in her shower in the consulate in San Francisco, her need overrode her sense of propriety. She knew she couldn’t continue to do her work feeling this way…so she made a decision to try.

She closed her eyes and let wet fingers trace her mouth as she again remembered Joseph’s lips upon hers. She moved her hands down her throat; the water making her skin smooth and sensitive to her own touch. It felt good and she whispered Joseph’s name. Just saying his name sent a shiver through her body and she slipped her right hand lower to caress her breast, increasing the sensations.

Her nipples hardened further from her ministrations and her thoughts. She rolled one of the taut buds, imagining Joseph’s lips there and released a heavy breath. Her other hand began caressing over her rounded stomach. She wondered briefly if Joseph would like the way she looked. By no means was she young anymore and felt a little a little self-conscious about her body. His actions yesterday, though, would certainly seem to indicate that he appreciated her. Would he also enjoy the body beneath the beautiful gowns and stylish suits? She could almost see him in front of her, his cheek resting against her abdomen as he looked up at her. The erotic image sent another shiver racing through her that seemed to center between her legs.

She continued the exploration of her body. Her movements were untrained, but she was learning fast what her body needed. Her hand glided down to her thigh and then ventured cautiously to the soft skin of her inner thigh. Her hand inched upwards and she could feel the heat emanating from her core. She brushed her curls with the back of her hand, coming closer to touching herself more intimately than she ever had before.

She hesitated briefly then slipped her hand between her legs. Feeling how aroused she had become, acquainting herself with her body’s responses, she let out a deep sigh. Guided by instinct she found the small bud hidden beneath the curls. She let a finger rub gently over it and a small contraction enveloped her and caused a sharp intake of breath. She repeated the action before moving further, following her sex to her moist entrance. Again her dream entered her mind and she remembered the feeling of anticipation before her dream-Joseph would enter her. She let her finger slip inside her canal and thrust gently. A soft moan escaped her throat. She thrust a few more times before moving back to circle her bud. She began moving her hips in rhythm with her hand, the warmth from the water stimulating her. She saw Joseph’s smiling face in her mind and again whispered his name. For a moment, she imagined what it would feel like if he kissed her there…in her most intimate of places. That imagery resulted in a strong rush of fluid onto her hand.)

Clarisse felt the sensations beginning to centre in her abdomen and she leaned heavily against the wall for support, bracing her other hand on the side of the shower. She continued until her body could take no more stimulation and everything erupted; her back arched and her eyes closed tightly at the onslaught of sensation. She moaned loudly as her climax rolled over her in strong waves; shards of pleasure shooting out from the point her hand was stroking.

Her fingers slowed as the orgasm faded, but she continued the gentle caresses. It felt too good. Her muscles contracted in small aftershocks and before she knew it, the sensations tightened again and the pleasure exploded inside her for a second time.

The water was still running over her now heated body. Clarisse was breathing hard as she marvelled at what just happened. Never had she experienced such intense pleasure. Rupert certainly had never brought her to such a state of ecstasy and definitely not by her own hand. She was amazed that she had been able to create such a strong need within herself.

She gradually relaxed and then the harshness of reality imposed itself. She suddenly felt very embarrassed by her actions; this was not the way for a queen to behave. She had responsibilities; she was not a love struck teenager that couldn’t control her hormones. She quickly finished her shower and dried off. As she walked by the mirror on her way out, she caught sight of herself. She had a visible flush in her cheeks; and even if she was determined to forget her experience in the shower, her body was not. As if to prove her point, she felt a small tremor in her abdomen. She closed her eyes as the brief pleasure ran through her body. The empty feeling that she woke up with had been filled for the moment, but her indecisiveness about her feelings and Joseph were not.

How could it be that, in only one day, her life had been turned upside down? She pulled on her robe and ended up sitting on the edge of her bed. How could she suddenly want something so bad that she didn’t even know she wanted yesterday? Something she shouldn’t want. This was too difficult. She couldn’t keep it all in her head and she felt a very strong urge to confess her feelings to someone; to have someone help her sort through her jumbled thoughts. The only problem was that in the past her confidant had been Rupert and then Joseph. She had no one. For a second she considered Charlotte, but dismissed the thought as quickly as it had come. That was not a possibility.

As she sat contemplating her dilemma, she remembered that Prime Minister Sebastian Motaz was arriving today with his wife, Sheila. Clarisse had always enjoyed Sheila’s company and being the wife of the Prime Minister meant that she could be discreet with delicate information. Clarisse decided to invite Sheila for a private tea after they arrived to see if she would be able to confide her predicament to her. She desperately needed a female friend right now.

*****

Sheila Motaz stood outside the queen’s suite. She, along with her daughter and husband, the Prime Minister, had arrived the day before in order to attend the state dinner and the Independence Day ball in two weeks. She was pleasantly surprised when she had received an invitation for tea with Her Majesty. Sheila had always enjoyed socializing with the queen and was glad to have received the invitation, assuming it would be a ladies’ afternoon tea. She knocked and the queen called her in.

Clarisse was standing by the window. She was very nervous, but she really needed someone to talk to. Sheila Motaz was the closest she had to a female friend besides Charlotte. She felt very close to her aide; but Charlotte was first her employee and she truly believed that would be crossing a line and putting Charlotte in a potentially uncomfortable position. So she desperately hoped that Sheila could and would help her. She heard the knocking on her door, took a deep breath and invited Sheila in.

Sheila stepped into the suite, looking around her. She curtsied and asked surprised “Am I early or am I just the first, Your Majesty?”

“Good afternoon Sheila,” Clarisse greeted. “The first what?”

Sheila was uncertain now. “The first guest…aren’t more coming?”

Clarisse moved to the couch and sat down indicating for Sheila to follow her example. “No, Sheila, I wished to speak with you alone. I find myself in a situation where I need some advice. Advice from someone that doesn’t work for me and that I can trust will keep my confidence.”

“Of course, Your Majesty.”

“Please, Sheila, Her Majesty is not here for this conversation. In fact, won’t you please call me Clarisse from now on? Not many people do.”

Sheila was curious. She and the Queen had been, if not friends, then very good acquaintances for as long as Sebastian had been Prime Minister and she found that she really wanted to be Clarisse’s friend. She suspected that the Queen didn’t have many.

“Of course…Clarisse. So what is it that I can help you with?”

Clarisse was silent for a moment. “Oh dear, this is difficult for me to talk about.”

“It’s okay, your Ma….Clarisse; I know how to be discrete.” Sheila encouraged.

Clarisse smiled a little, having had the same exact thought just this morning. She fought with her embarrassment; but her need to resolve her dilemma won out and she forged ahead. “It involves a man.” Clarisse finally got out.

Of all the things the Queen could have said, this surprised Sheila the most.

Clarisse sighed. “I have no frame of reference for this, I don’t know how to...” Clarisse gestured with her hand.

Sheila turned so she could better face her new friend. “Just say it.”

Clarisse closed her eyes, gathering her courage. “I…I fantasize about him…with me.”

Sheila was silent for a moment. She was amazed that her Queen had chosen her to share such private thoughts with. Clarisse mistook her silence for disapproval and quickly got up from the couch folding her arms around her. “I’m sorry; that was inappropriate. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

Sheila followed her and touched her arm to get her attention. “No. No, not at all; I was taken aback. I apologize. Please Clarisse, I want to help you. Please let’s sit down again.”

Clarisse walked slowly back, her manner very uncertain. Sheila decided to help the conversation along. “I’m assuming, and please correct me if I’m wrong, that you feel there is something wrong or inappropriate in fantasies?” She started.

Clarisse thought for a moment. “Not so much wrong as inappropriate; and it…it muddles my thinking. I cannot lose focus of why we are here: To help Amelia and secure the Renaldi rule. I should not be distracted by this. Queens should not fantasize.” She proclaimed.

If the situation wasn’t so serious, Sheila would have laughed at her last statement. 𠇋ut you are a also a woman. It is very natural to notice men and to fantasize about them.” Sheila assured her.

“Just one man, not men, and I never have before.” was Clarisse’s tentative response. “I never really noticed men before. But now, all he has to do is look at me and I feel the strongest response to his attention. Oh this is so not right.” She shook her head, at a loss.

Sheila tried to reassure her. 𠇌larisse, there’s nothing wrong or improper about fantasizing and feeling sexually excited. As long as you’re comfortable with yourself and your thoughts, then whatever action you decide to take as a result is perfectly okay.”

Clarisse blushed slightly as she remembered her actions in the shower that morning. She still wasn’t sure how comfortable she was with that. Sheila watched as Clarisse looked at her sceptically, but she could see that at least it appeared that she was listening.

“This man you fantasize about, are you in love with him?” Sheila ventured.

Clarisse had given that particular question a lot of thought and the answer came easier than anything else in this conversation. “Oh yes. Even if I didn’t realize it before, I’ve been in love with him for a while. But it cannot be; at least not while I am Queen.

Sheila looked surprised but then it dawned on her. �use it’s Joseph, right?”

Clarisse startled noticeably. Was she that obvious?

Sheila smiled gently. “You may be good at hiding your emotions, but he is not. Not if you know him. He loves you, Clarisse.”

Tears welled up in Clarisse’s eyes. Did he really? But then the impossibility of the situation overshadowed her brief joy. 𠇋ut it can’t be. Can you imagine the scandal? The Von Trokens would leap at such a gift wrapped opportunity to take the crown. Amelia hasn’t accepted her responsibilities yet. I have to maintain the perfect picture for the public.”

“Then don’t make it public.” Even if you can’t keep it just between the two of you, you have staff you can trust. Charlotte and Shades, even your ladies’ maids; they would keep your confidence. Clarisse, it could work!” Sheila was all excited now. Clarisse remained sceptical.

“When Amelia is Queen, then you can go public, if you want. Until then, why not just enjoy something that is just yours and Joseph’s. Clarisse, I’ve known you for many years and you always put duty before self. Well maybe now there’s room for a little self. Believe me; you’d be much more relaxed.” Sheila said with a sly smile that made Clarisse blush.

But then she laid her head back against the couch and sighed. “I really don’t know what to do. I have all these conflicting emotions. A week ago everything was fine; but when he kissed me a few days ago, he woke feelings and sensations I haven’t thought of in years. All of a sudden I have all these wants and needs I never had before and I don’t know how to handle it.” Tears of frustration rose to her eyes.

Sheila reached across the couch and took Clarisse’s hand in silent comfort. “I’m afraid I can’t tell you what to do, but I can say that none of the feelings, wants, and needs you are experiencing are unusual and they are definitely not wrong. There’s nothing wrong with wanting companionship and sexual intimacy, especially if you love someone.”

Clarisse was beginning to see her point. “I don’t know how to handle this situation. My marriage to Rupert was arranged. I have never dated or been courted. I have never been really in love. He blindsided me.” She whispered the last sentence.

“Then perhaps all you have to do is let Joseph know that you are interested. Take the first step and let him take it from there. Usually things happen as they are supposed to, even if we think we aren’t ready or prepared for them. If your love for each other is as strong as I suspect, I really don’t think you need to worry; it will come naturally”

“You make it sound so easy, Sheila.” Clarisse smiled slightly. “But I’m afraid it isn’t; at least not while the situation with Amelia is so unstable. I have to regain my focus.”

“I know, but consider the possibilities and the rewards.” Sheila smiled.

Clarisse returned her smile. Maybe, just maybe, she should really consider the possibility. Having said it out loud to someone else made the situation less confusing and scary and Sheila had a good point. “I will think about your advice, Sheila.”,Clarisse took her hand in thanks. “So tell me; how is your family?”

They visited for another half an hour before Clarisse had to attend to more official business. Clarisse held out her hand to Sheila, as was her custom. Sheila refused to take it, saying, “Friends hug,” before invading Clarisse’s personal space. She returned Sheila’s hug awkwardly, but if that was what friends did, she would learn. The Queen did not step down from a challenge. As she opened the door to let Sheila out Joseph was standing there, his hand up, ready to knock. She tried desperately to keep calm; her confession to Sheila lying heavy in the air. She wasn’t completely successful as a pink blush covered her cheeks.

“I’m sorry, Your Majesty, Mrs. Motaz. I have those specifications we discussed.” Joseph indicated the folder he was holding.

“I was just leaving, Joseph, so you can have your meeting.” Sheila smiled sweetly and with a glance at Clarisse she was gone.

Joseph moved over to the desk and started pulling out papers. Clarisse observed him from the door, letting the possibilities run through her mind, accepting her attraction to him. She had time to let it grow. Maybe after the Independence Day ball, she would find some private time with Joseph and they could talk about this…whatever this turned out to be between them. She silently closed the door and moved to the desk to start working.

*****

“But now I choose to be forevermore Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Renaldi, Princess of Genovia.”

Clarisse released the breath she had been holding. The Renaldi rule was secure. Genovia would not fall into the hands of the family Von Troken. She gave Mia her very first tiara and she was presented to the press and the guests as the Crown Princess of Genovia before they went upstairs to get her dried off and into her ball gown.

Clarisse and Mia moved gracefully onto the dance floor and Sebastian Motaz took Clarisse’s hand for the first dance, as was the custom. Mia’s young friend had showed up, she noticed and they were dancing. Other people were joining the dance and suddenly her dance with Sebastian was interrupted. Joseph didn’t have to say anything, Sebastian merely moved away gracefully. For a brief moment she considered how much Sebastian knew, but then Joseph took her into his arms and there was no one else in her world.

Every one of her senses seemed heightened somehow; and every place Joseph was touching her felt warm. They easily fell into the pattern of the dance. They had always danced well together, but the dancing around each other they had done for the last two weeks had been very straining and she was ready to stop that particular dance. She preferred this much more. She looked at his beautiful face and felt her love for him surface. Tonight was a success and she felt free. Even though she knew duty would return tomorrow, she would enjoy the relative freedom that this night had bestowed upon her.

Joseph was saying something about the garden being occupado; but she didn’t really hear him. She gave a chuckle, however, to cover for her inattentiveness. She just longed for him to hold her, longed to be closer to him than their present location permitted. She decided she could wait a bit more for that and let him sweep her away in another dance.

*****

As the party wore on and the younger people started dancing to their kind of music, Clarisse decided it was time she made a discreet exit. She caught Joseph’s eye and indicated that she was ready to leave. He moved to her side and they walked slowly down the corridor. Joseph waved the guard away and then he took Clarisse’s hand. She looked at it as he brought it to his lips and gently kissed her gloved hand.

Their eyes met and Clarisse felt warmth spreading throughout her entire body. Even though they’d left the party, it wasn’t too late to enjoy the evening. Maybe this would be a good chance to speak with Joseph as Sheila had suggested. “Joseph, can we go somewhere and talk?” She asked softly.

He looked into her eyes for a moment, trying to gauge her mood. He merely nodded, held her hand tighter and led the way. Clarisse thought they would go to her suite or her office, but Joseph continued up the stairs until they reached the top floor. He opened the door and they stepped onto the roof. “The garden may be occupado; but the view of the garden from here is splendid.” He said.

Clarisse stepped up to the edge of the roof and placed her hands on the wall, peering over, taking in the beautiful sight of the garden Charlotte had designed. She really would have to thank her properly for her effort tomorrow. Joseph moved up beside her. “I have never been up here before, Joseph, it’s beautiful.” He covered her hand on the wall with his own. She turned hers over, allowing him to hold it.

“You said we should talk, Clarisse.” He tentatively said. She had been lost in the beauty of the night; but was pulled back by the sound of his voice. The nervousness settled in her stomach now that the moment was upon her. She didn’t know how to begin. She straightened her back and pulled her courage around her, deciding to follow Sheila’s advice about just telling him. 𠇊 good friend advised me to be honest and direct.” Clarisse looked down; took a breath, then looked up and placed her left hand on his cheek. “I have fallen in love with you, Joseph. It may not be proper and if it got out it would likely cause a scandal, but I need you to know, even if you do not feel the same way. I did not intend for it to happen…but it did.”

She was looking down again, afraid to see the look in his eyes. Joseph gently lifted her chin, copying her gesture and holding his hand to her cheek, their other two hands still clasped on the wall. “It may not be proper and it likely would cause a scandal, but God help me, my Queen, I am in love with you too.”

A silent tear ran down Clarisse’s cheek, onto his hand, but she was smiling. “I have loved you for many years…in the shadows.”

Clarisse’s smiled widened and she exhaled, not really knowing she had been holding her breath. She started to say, “Oh how I have waited to hear those words,” but then she caught herself. Instead she spoke the truth. “I’m afraid I know nothing at all of waiting; I have carefully ignored that side of my life for so long...Thank you for your patience, Joseph.” He just smiled at her and she returned his smile. No further words were necessary.

Joseph moved to hold her around her waist, her back to his front. They stood silently for a while watching the moon, enjoying their newfound closeness. He then spoke softly next to her ear. “See how special you are? You can see the moon, but the moon can’t see you.”

Clarisse laughed gently. “That’s very sweet; who told you that?”

“My mother.” He admitted. “I find that it suits you.”

Clarisse tightened her hands around his. “Everything turned out as it should tonight. Didn’t it Joseph? With Amelia?”

“Yes, Clarisse, it did.”

She turned to face him, her eyes brimming with happy tears. “I love you.” She whispered. He smiled back at her gently. “I love you too.”At the shared sentiments, they drifted closer.

As they met for a kiss of affirmation, gentle rain started to fall. Raindrops fell softly in Clarisse’s elaborate hairdo and the last moonshine reflected off of them making them shine like diamonds.

Joseph pulled back to take in the sight of her. “You are so beautiful, Clarisse.”

She looked down, feeling self-conscious. “I am old.” She stated.

Joseph brushed raindrops from her cheek. “We may not be in the prime of our years, my dear; but you have always been and will always be the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.” His words warmed her heart and she smiled brightly at him before moving into his embrace. She inhaled his scent and let gentle kisses fall on his neck, tasting the rain on his skin. Joseph copied her actions, finding sensitive spots on her neck and letting his hands roam across her back. The need to feel his lips on hers as they had been the day of their first kiss became too strong and Clarisse moved her lips along his jawline to his cheek and finally to his mouth.

The kiss started out gentle as they learned each other, but soon gentle wasn’t enough and Clarisse slowly parted her lips, allowing Joseph to deepen the kiss. How could she have missed something so much when she had only experienced it once before? She felt like she never wanted to stop again as their tongues met and started their own dance. Her arms went around his neck and one hand stroked his hair. His arms held her securely while his hands stroked her back dipping very close to her bottom.

Joseph eased out of the kiss to catch his breath and allowed her to do the same before moving in and starting a new kiss. This time Clarisse moaned at the contact, throwing herself wholly into the oral connection. A strong need to be even closer to him ran through her and she pressed as close as her large ball gown would allow. The rain fell unnoticed as they continued to kiss.

This time Clarisse needed to breathe first and pulled slowly back. Not wanting to lose the closeness, she tightened her arms around him and he did the same. The rain had been falling for a while and Clarisse finally felt it. She shivered slightly and Joseph noticed the wet fabric of her heavy ball gown. “Clarisse, your dress; you are going to get cold.”

Clarisse smiled brightly. “I don’t care, Joseph. I am happy.” She moved from his arms and twirled herself around, lifting her face to the rain and laughing. Joseph laughed with her, loving her carefree display. He moved and took her back into his embrace and swirled with her.

It had been the most amazing night she had experienced in many years, so many emotions mixed into one night. It had promised to be a nightmare when she thought Amelia wouldn’t get there and absolute happiness when she had seen both Amelia and Joseph standing there, saving everything she held dear. Now as she saw her happiness mirrored back at her through Joseph’s eyes, one emotion, however, overrode all the others: Desire.

“Will you take me back to my suite?” She breathed. She felt the anticipation in Joseph as he tightened his hold on her. “Take me back to my suite and stay.” She clarified.

He placed a kiss on her neck before asking, “Are you sure?”

“We have not only danced with each other, we have also danced around each other. I think I prefer the first and we have waited long to be together. Please?” He could not refuse her anything. He moved slowly out of the embrace to look at her once more in the dark. Raindrops were running down her face and neck to disappear in her cleavage. He boldly traced the path of a drop, stopping just short of following it down the dress. Clarisse let out a small sigh of pleasure.

“Yes, my Queen, I will take you to your suite and stay.” He again took her hand and brought it to his lips for a kiss, before they proceeded off the roof and down the stairs toward her suite.

*****

After dismissing the guard in the corridor where Clarisse’s suite was located, Joseph opened the door and let her walk in before him. She walked to the middle of the room and stopped, looking very indecisive and notably drenched. She stood for a moment and then made her decision; she removed her long white gloves before reaching up and dislodging the tiara from her hair and placing it gently on the coffee table. Joseph was still standing right by the closed door. She looked him directly in the eye. “The Queen is not needed here tonight, just Clarisse.” She stated, hoping her meaning was clear; that he would have to take the next step.

He moved up to her and gently caressed her cheek, as was becoming their custom, before moving his hands to her hair. He gently removed her hair extension and her earrings before he moved behind her. He slowly lowered the zipper on the dress while gently kissing her naked and damp skin from shoulder to shoulder. Before he let the dress fall, he moved to her ear and whispered “Are you sure?” giving her a final chance to stop this evening’s events.

She hesitated for a mere second before nodding her head and breathing out a silent “Yes.”

Joseph slid the garment the final bit and it fell heavily to the floor. He bent down and offered Clarisse a hand to step out of it. He picked up the dress and placed it over the back of the couch, with care, to let it dry by the fire. As he turned to face Clarisse, he took in her full bodied beauty as the soft light of the room illuminated her skin. She was standing in profile and Joseph drank in the provocative sight starting at her feet. They were still clad in her matching high heeled shoes; her silk stockings were being held up by a lacy garter belt. Joseph’s breath caught as he realized so many of his dreams and fantasies were about to become a reality. His survey continued as he gazed upon the bustier in the same color as her dress and matching panties to complete the ensemble.

Joseph couldn’t take his eyes off of her and when she lifted her head and looked at him with uncertainty and desire mixed in her sapphire blue eyes, the desire he felt for her took a significant leap forward. He took off his jacket and laid it beside her dress on the couch before meeting her eyes again. Clarisse reached up and removed her large diamond necklace and placed it on the table next to the tiara. She straightened up and extended her hand towards Joseph, beckoning him to come closer. She was surprising herself with her boldness. She had never undressed for a man before, not even her husband, had never asked so boldly for something she wanted. The way Joseph was looking at her now, though, made her feel beautiful, desired and not at all shy. As he moved towards her again, she snapped the closures on the garter belt, loosening her stockings. She put one foot on the couch to roll the stockings off. Joseph sat next to her leg and took over the task, kissing her leg as the skin was exposed.

The shoes went with the stockings and he slid the garter belt off as well, leaving only her panties and the bustier. Clarisse took his face in her hands and lowered her mouth to his in a sensual kiss before saying, “You are terribly overdressed, sir. Let’s remedy that.” She started loosening his neck tie and unbuttoning his shirt. Joseph toed off his shoes and socks. Clarisse’s efforts were finally rewarded as she encountered his bare skin. He let out a groan as her warm hands connected with his naked chest. He quickly rose, discarding his shirt and swept her into his arms, carrying her to the bedroom.

He placed her gently on the bed before removing his pants. She began struggling with her bustier; but she had to admit defeat. Her ladies maids usually helped her out of these types of undergarments. She looked to Joseph who was now only clad in black silk boxers. She lost her train of thought as she took in the sight of him; his broad naked chest and strong arms. This man to whom she trusted her life daily would now safeguard her heart as well. She let her eyes fall lower and noticed his desire for her straining against the fabric of his boxers and she unconsciously licked her lips. Then she remembered her predicament. "Umm, Joseph...I know this sounds anything but romantic, but I could use a little assistance." Clarisse asked gesturing to her bustier.

Joseph smiled in amusement. “It would be my pleasure.” He sat on his knees behind her and started from the top, releasing the little hooks and kissing her bare back as it was revealed to him. He released the last hook and dropped the garment on the floor. He closed the remaining distance between their bodies and his mouth found the delicate skin on her neck as his hands slowly moved up her stomach to cup her now naked breasts. His tongue laved at a particular sensitive spot and his thumbs slipped over her hardening nipples. Clarisse sighed her pleasure and laid her head back against his shoulder. She could feel his desire for her against her backside and it sent a matching jolt of desire to her abdomen. “Make love to me, Joseph….please.” She breathed.

He reluctantly moved away so she could turn around. As she did, she enveloped him in a passionate kiss. She lay back, taking him with her, wanting to feel his weight on her body. Joseph broke the kiss and moved his mouth down her body. Once he reached her hips, he slowly slid her panties off, removing the last barrier. Before moving back up, his boxers joined her underwear on the floor. His hands took slow inventory of her skin starting at her feet and moving at an agonizing pace up her legs and thighs. He came close to her center but bypassed to kiss her naval instead. She let out a small giggle as his whiskers brushed over her sensitive skin.

He smiled against her and then moved higher. He reached her breasts and closed his mouth over a dark nipple, enjoying Clarisse’s sharp intake of breath. Clarisse held his head to her, amazed by the sensual feeling. Every flick of his tongue sent sensations shooting straight to her center and she squirmed under him, trying to find some relief. Joseph released her breast and joined their lips in a searing kiss as he moved between her legs which separated to accommodate him. They made eye contact, both breathing heavily from the kiss. “I love you.” Joseph whispered.

She whispered her love back and; as she joined their lips again, Joseph joined their bodies with a slow thrust. Twin sighs of pleasure escaped them. He held still, allowing her body to adjust to the welcome intrusion. Clarisse moved her lower body instinctively, signalling her readiness for more. Joseph needed no further encouragement and set a rhythm of long slow thrusts. Still kissing, their tongues seemed to mimic the actions of their bodies, lazily sliding against each other. Joseph broke the kiss, moaning his pleasure and moved to suckle at her breast. She arched into his touch, moving her hips in sync with his. Needing something solid to hold on to, she found his shoulders.

She was biting her lip almost painfully, attempting to hold her vocal pleasure inside. “Oh Joseph, it’s so hard to keep quiet.” She breathed, a small moan escaping despite her efforts.

She whimpered as Joseph stopped his movements. “Why do you need to keep quiet, love? We are alone.” He brushed at her hair and let his thumb caress her lips before gently kissing her.

“I have always been taught that the act of lovemaking is quietly shared.” She answered, closing her eyes in enjoyment of his touch.

Joseph’s kisses had moved to her neck, his hips gently undulating against her, keeping the mood. “Clarisse, my darling, with me you can do anything you wish; as long as we’re both comfortable with it. If you wish to voice your pleasure so the entire staff can hear you; it is okay with me; in fact, it would make me proud.”

He smiled at her and Clarisse blushed fiercely. ”Maybe not that loud.” She whispered.

Still smiling, he let his love shine through his eyes. “Clarisse, our love is for us to share and enjoy. What we do together is beautiful; feel free to follow your instincts and to tell me what you want and what feels good. I’ll do the same.” He drove his point home with a thrust and received the desired result.

Clarisse gasped “Oh God!” and arched her back, her hands tightening on his shoulders. Joseph picked up his previous rhythm of long, slow strokes continuing to build the tension to a higher level. Clarisse lost herself in the cadence he was setting and let go of all her doubts and preconceived notions and released another moan as Joseph hit a sensitive spot. She embraced him fully, needing to be as close as possible; finding his neck and buried her face there as yet another moan slipped past her lips. She followed the pace he set and felt her muscles tighten in response.

“Open your eyes Clarisse; let me see you.” His voice was strained. She willed her eyes open and saw a look of pure love reflected in his blue depths. She knew that it mirrored what was showing in her eyes as well. The tension built in every muscle, every nerve ending until it reached the point of no return.

Her release exploded through her body with a force she had not expected; and as much as she may have wanted to keep her scream of completion inside, she was not able to. Her voice mingled with Joseph’s deep groan as he too reached his peak

He fell to the mattress, taking care to keep Clarisse close as they both tried to catch their breaths. He felt her body shudder slightly and tightened his embrace as she experienced strong aftershocks from her release. She let out a small moan as the sensations lessened and she rested her head on his shoulder. “My God, Joseph is that the way it’s supposed to feel when you make love? I never knew…”

Joseph smiled warmly at her words and pulled her closer to him, revelling in her smooth skin and scent. “Yes, that’s the way it feels when you love each other.” He moved so he could look into her eyes. “I love you so much, Clarisse.”

She caressed his cheek and answered her love back. Reality slowly reasserted itself and sadness crept into her eyes. “But Joseph, what will we do now? We cannot be lovers; the scandal would jeopardize everything we have accomplished tonight. As much as I want to follow my heart, my duty to Amelia and Genovia must come first. Oh but how can I be without you?”

Her voice was tinged with frustration and Joseph grabbed her hand to ground her. “You will not have to. We will love each other, in the shadows, until the moment is right. I am the head of security, no? We will find a way to be together without letting it be public.” He reassured her.

She laid her head on his shoulder. “I suppose so.” She replied; but didn’t sound convinced.

Joseph kissed the top of her head. “It’s going to be fine, Clarisse; I will make sure of it.” He decided to interject a little humour into the situation. “A clandestine rendezvous in your office, making out in the rose garden, sneaking into my room after everyone’s gone to bed…”

Clarisse finally started to laugh. “All right Joseph, I believe you.” She kissed his chest where she could reach without moving and closed her eyes in contentment. “Oh Joseph, it’s so wonderful to just once do what I want and not what I should. I know it won’t last; but it feels very special and precious.” She was gently caressing his upper chest with her fingertips.

“You should experience that feeling more often.” He countered as he returned the favor and traced patterns on the bare skin between her shoulder and chest. “I’ll help…So tell me what you want.” He said.

She turned her face up to look at him and smiled, debating with herself whether she was too comfortable right now to do anything; but then an idea struck her. “Right now I want to take a shower…and I want you to join me.” She offered.

The smile on Joseph’s lips clearly showed that he approved of the suggestion and the slight demand that lay beneath it. “Whatever my queen wishes, I will attempt to fulfil.”

Clarisse disentangled herself from Joseph and rose from the bed. Knowing he was watching her she stood still with her back turned, letting him look his fill then looked over her shoulder. “Are you coming?”

Joseph snapped out of it, not needing to be told twice and followed her to the bathroom. She stopped in front of the shower and slid the partition to the side. Joseph embraced her from behind and decided to test her newfound playfulness. “Clarisse, have you been having fantasies about us in this shower?” He punctuated his question with kisses to her naked shoulders. Even though he couldn’t see her face, he felt her blush. “Ah, you have, my love. Will you tell me?” His hands were moving slowly up and down her arms, hypnotizing her with his touch.

“I can’t.” She whispered; but there was not much force in her protest.

“I will not pressure you; but I would like to hear. If you will tell me.” He moved around her, lifting his hands to caress her face “Or, better yet, I will do what I can to fulfil your fantasy.” His voice held an intensity that made her feel daring; and the thought of sharing her fantasy with him sent a shiver of anticipation through her body. Maybe she should just allow it to happen.

She moved to turn on the water and grabbed the bottle of shampoo. She held it out to him. “Will you wash my hair, Joseph?” He took the offered bottle and smiled before stepping into the shower and offering her his hand. She followed him and closed the door. The water was soothingly warm and Joseph guided her head under the spray while pouring shampoo into his hand. He gently applied the fragrant liquid into her tresses and began massaging her scalp. It felt heavenly and she let out a contented sigh.

As he washed out the soap, Joseph watched the suds flow over Clarisse’s naked chest and gave in to the impulse to follow it with his hands. He slowly let his hands move from her bare shoulders to her chest and continue achingly slow over her breasts, his thumbs brushing over her nipples as they hardened. She let out a stronger moan and pushed herself slightly forward to increase the feeling.

She turned her head to catch his mouth in a kiss, needing to feel as much of him as she could. His hands had stilled on her upper stomach. She joined her hands to his and encouraged him to keep moving. Now that she had started it, she wanted to fulfil the fantasy. Joseph caught on and let his hands move lower, caressing the soft skin just above her curls. One hand moved lower and caressed her outer thigh moving to the inner thigh on the return trip. The movement brought him dangerously close to her core, bypassing it at the last moment. She tried to push forward again, but Joseph just smiled and laid his hand back on her abdomen.

Clarisse turned in his embrace and caressed his water slicked chest, needing to return the feelings he was reawakening in her. It hadn’t even been half an hour and she already wanted him again. It was a new sensation; but she found that she enjoyed the wanting and anticipation. She initiated a long passionate kiss and Joseph took the opportunity to let his hands touch as much of her skin as possible. They broke for air and Joseph moved his mouth along her neck to her ear and whispered the first words since they had entered the shower. “So my Queen, what else did you fantasize about, besides the hair?” He could feel the warm blush in her cheeks, but she didn’t say anything.

Joseph moved a hand up to caress her breast. “Did I touch you here?” He whispered. She caught on to what he was doing and just nodded. He smiled and lowered his lips to the swell of her breast. “Did I kiss you here?” Again she just nodded; her eyes closing briefly in pleasure. He let his lips enclose her nipple; his tongue coercing it into a hard peak before moving lower, raining kisses down her stomach. He rested his cheek against her wet skin and breathed for moment, then lifted his eyes to her face. “And here? indicating her abdomen. The similarity to her fantasy was amazing and she had to brace a hand on the side of the shower as she breathed out an “Oh God, yes”.

His hand was caressing her thigh again, but this time he didn’t tease and the back of his hand brushed her curls. “And here…did I touch you here?” Again she could only nod as she held her breath. Would he get the last part right as well? As the back of his hand kept moving on her curls, he locked eyes with her and asked, “Did I kiss you here, Clarisse?”

Her breath escaped in a moan and her hand came up to cover her mouth as her cheeks burned. She couldn’t remember ever being this exited as she finally nodded her head again. Joseph smiled, held eye contact with her. His touch became more insistent as he directed. “Open for me, love.”

Reacting on pure instinct she slowly parted her legs. Joseph took hold of her left leg and placed it gently over his shoulder. All preconceptions she might have had about love making before this night was quickly driven from her mind the moment Joseph’s mouth touched her core. She shamelessly pushed forward against his touch and let out a deep moan. Nothing had prepared her for the exquisite feeling and as he let his tongue sweep over her sensitive bud in long, slow strokes.

She grabbed the back of his head with one hand to hold him to her and braced herself on the shower wall with the other. His tongue was masterfully manipulating her bundle of nerves, making her writhe against his mouth. She opened her eyes to look at him. The sight of him so reverently pleasuring her made her whole body shiver with desire. With one last loving stroke of his tongue, Clarisse climaxed against his mouth, his name a loud cry on her lips.

Joseph only gave her a moments rest before he rose and gently picked her up and pressed himself against her until her back was supported against the shower wall. She had no time to react or to be shocked, only to feel, as Joseph effortlessly slid into her wet heat. He felt her muscles gently tightening around him in her aftershocks and he groaned at the exquisite feeling.

Clarisse followed her instinct and wrapped her legs around his waist; her arms going around his neck, letting the wall and his strong arms support her weight. Joseph set a gentle rocking motion that built the tension slowly. Their position allowed Joseph unlimited access to her chest and he took advantage of the opportunity to lavish her breasts with attention. Clarisse was drowning in the sensation his touch was creating. His hot mouth branding her as his; his hard member thrusting steadily into her core; it was too much and yet not enough. “More…oh Joseph, please, more!” She breathed.

He increased the pace in response to her pleas, thrusting faster and harder. Clarisse held on, her nails sinking into his back, all thoughts of being quiet long forgotten as she cried out her delight. This time when her release rushed through her body, she whimpered through it, buried her head against his neck and clutched his body, never wanting to let go.

He joined her with a low moan, pushing into her and holding them still. She could feel him throbbing inside of her as his release claimed him and she squeezed herself around him with all her might. A tear of wonder slid down her cheek.

Joseph held Clarisse securely in his arms, supporting her trembling weight. He kissed her tenderly as she unwound her legs from around him and placed them gingerly on the shower floor, regretfully separating their bodies. She leaned heavy on the wall, not sure her legs would support her yet. Their gentle kisses helped her to regain focus. “Thank you, Joseph.” She breathed against his lips. “Thank you.”

“Did that fulfil your fantasy, my love?” He asked.

She nodded in the affirmative. “Only it was much better.”.

Joseph grinned and reached for the body wash. “I suggest we finish here and go back to bed.”

They quickly washed and dried off before they left the bathroom hand in hand and slowly walked back to Clarisse’s bedroom. Clarisse moved to her drawers and found a simple silk night gown. “Can’t have the maids finding me naked in bed, can we?” She answered his questioning look.

“Agreed.” He smiled and found his boxers and put them on. Together they slipped under the bed covers, resuming their previous position. She laid her head on his shoulder and he held her close. She tried to stifle a yawn but was unsuccessful.

Joseph kissed her wet hair and she snuggled closer. “Sleep now, my love, it’s been quite a day.” He whispered.

“Oh but Joseph….”

He knew what she was worried about. “I’ll be gone before Priscilla arrives. No one will even know I was here.” He reassured her.

She closed her eyes, trusting that he would handle everything. “I love you, Joseph.” She said.

“I love you too, Clarisse.” He answered.

She couldn’t remember ever being more content and happy and she fell asleep to the sound of Joseph’s heartbeat and with a smile on her face.

*****

True to his word, when Clarisse woke up she watched as Priscilla started finding her clothes and making the bed. Clarisse could find no evidence that Joseph and she had spent the most wonderful night here. The only evidence she had was the soreness in her body, reminding her of their varied physical activities last night. It made her smile to herself as she remembered how bold she had been and how well it had paid off to tell Joseph of her feelings for him. She would have to thank Sheila for all her good advice at some point.

Both Sheila and Joseph had stressed the fact that they could have a relationship out of the public eye. She dearly hoped they were right. She thought through what had to be done before they returned to Genovia, while she enjoyed her tea. They had to make arrangements for Amelia’s safety and for her visit to Genovia the coming summer. Joseph would help with that. She smiled as her thoughts once again turned to him. Her dream had been realized in the most amazing way. She decided right then and there that Joseph had been correct. They would find a way and they would wait for the right time. Until then they would love each other – in the shadows.


The End